Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Yea or Nay...?

Remember this is just a joke...Pls star if you like it. Thx.



A brief history of the world....



Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.



They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer %26amp; would go to



the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.



The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of



beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man



to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and



together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2



distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.



Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of



agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented



yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting



for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how



villages were formed.



Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night



while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is



known as "the Conservative movement."



Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live



off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing



the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the



Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into



women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.'



Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of



cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of



Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives



provided.



Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most



powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by



the jackass.



Many modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most



prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like



their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.



Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have



higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,



personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group



therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule



because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.



Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still



provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,



lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police



officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally



anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other



conservatives who want to work for a living.



Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers



and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans



are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals



remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They



crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying



to get MORE for nothing.



Here ends today's lesson in world history:



Yea or Nay...?

Funny!



Yea or Nay...?

kind of long and not that great



Yea or Nay...?

nay! not to great, great try though



Yea or Nay...?

i didnt read it, nay. too long



Yea or Nay...?

nay



too long to read!!!!!



Yea or Nay...?

nay

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