Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Can someone help me w/ my fictional short story?

so we have to write short stories for english and i started it but i dont know where i could go with what i have soe can ne one help me?!?!



this is what i have so far:



My name is Aroura Bell Ada. I live with my mother and my older sister. My mother aka Sophie is a doctor and is always gone. If shes not at work then she's at some random meeting for like saving lives or something. My dad was some big hot shot lawyer that fell madly in love with my mother at the age of 18. I always laugh when I hear this because obviously it wasn't love. He left my mother when she told him that I would be a living,breathing human being in about 7 months and I guess he was already 閳ユ笅n over his head閳?with my older sister Mia. Mia is 5 years older than me. She is a beautiful girl with long, straight black hair, blue eyes and the most perfect complexion in the history of complexions. She has the most beautiful face structure and the best lips anyone could ever posses. On top of her good looks, she is soft hearted and wants to save the world. Since Sophia is never here in the house that she calls home, even though she has no right to at all because all she does is sleep here, Mia is my best friend and my parental figure. I tell her things that no one in my life would ever know and she tells me things like this too. To make up for the lack of parental skills, Sophia is always spoiling us trying to make us happy with material things because she is never around enough to show us that she loves us. In fact she rarely even says the word love and when she does it is not directed to any living thing by any means. I ask all the time 閳ユ藩ophia do you love Mia and i?閳?and of course she says 閳ユ窔ts mom and yes sweetie why would you think I didn't?閳?but not once does the word love ever exit her mouth. After a while I learned how to ignore the chance that my mother didn't love me at all. As fun and amazing my life may seem. I really hate it but on Monday, January 2nd 2006,my life would never be the same



This morning, January 2nd 2006, had been a grueling morning and it was only 8:30. I woke up fashionably late. I hadn't gone to sleep till around 1 or 2 in the morning because I'm the one person everyone calls when their life is only slightly out of tune. So I drug myself out of my warm comfort zone that I call my bed. My body felt like it was a thousand pounds and it was around zero degrees in my room or at least thats how cold it felt. I trudged to my closet, feet dragging and hair not acceptable for any occasion not even the morning after a slumber party with your best friends who have seen you at the lowest of lows. I looked in my closet pondering about what I would wear that day. I grabbed a zebra striped dress, black leggings with the little ruffles on the ends and a pair of black leather boots. I quickly jumped in the shower and threw myself together.



Can someone help me w/ my fictional short story?

This is a good story so far. I think that you do not need to add more but you could if you want. As i was reading this story i definetley visuilized the images that was insisted.



Can someone help me w/ my fictional short story?

okay. so far, the story isnt really exciting. you have a few spelling mistakes like drug instead of drag. if you want more people to answer this question, you might need to say where this story is going. it could go anywhere from here. what genre of story are you aiming for? tradgedy, fantasy, love, things like that. also, dont say "aka" you sound like your reading a spy report



Can someone help me w/ my fictional short story?

It's a pretty interesting start. I agree with Rachel D that it feels like a spy report. You need to give less background info in the beginning of the story and more as you introduce the characters.



For a plot: What if she goes to school and someone brings a gun and she's the one who prevents them from killing anyone? Maybe she just talks the person out of it or maybe she has special powers. What if this person gives her the gun and now the cops think she was the one who almost started killing people?



I think my idea's too grand, though. The more mundane the events are, the more the reader will be able to identify with your characters.



Can someone help me w/ my fictional short story?

I love it! (so far) You have an amazing knack for details and description. And, your characters are coming to life before my eyes!



I don't think I'd have anything crazy (like turning into a vampire) happen. How about something very surprising -- finding a large sum of money, or coming across a bank robbery in action? Or being in the right place at the right time, as maybe she's chosen to be in a movie being shot down the street? Or she finds a ticket to .....???? Or overhears a conversation ....?



I can tell you've either had great English teachers and/or you have a great talent. The images you've created are very original, unforgettable and graphic.



When you write a story, sometimes you have to figure out the ending ahead of time. You've got a great start, but because you don't have even a brief outline, you're stuck.



Write about something you know. Then have your character move into that setting. You've got a great start!

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