I wrote a story Earlier and all of you loved it! So, here's some more! Do you like the revised

PREFACE

I focused on nothing but the rheumatic pattern of my breathing. In and out. Inhale and exhale. I was vastly petrified. He walked toward me with a shady smile on his face. I awaited agony and pain.

There was no warmth or bliss. The caring features vanished and turned into harsh, cold structures. How terribly I grieved to be safe in his arms. In his arms. I knew that he was gone as much as I knew that this would be hurtful. He took a step forward balancing all of his weight on one foot and smiled in the way that made me cringe, then, he lunged.

Chapter One

Acquaintance

Sixteen.

Perfect age, right. Wrong. This is when everything starts to change. Especially for me. Feelings are more sensitive. Sensitive. I really wished that word didn鈥檛 exist. It hurts. I used to be sensitive.

But, that was before I knew. Before I knew the truth. We鈥檒l get to that later.

The alarm clock went off and I rose up in my bed. At first I had to think. Where am I? I remembered. Lushe. I just moved from Florida to an old, deserted Indian town called Lushe. How much I long to be back in Florida with my sister Carol. We had it great in Florida. Beaching it every day. We were inseparable. Many people don鈥檛 get to have that kind of relationship with their sisters. Then Dad had to step into the perfect picture. It鈥檚 like he just took the picture, ripped it into tons of little pieces, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it.

Dad thought that it would be great if I spent a little time with him and Grandpapa Frank. After Mom died I do have to say that I鈥檝e been moping, but I was doing just fine with Carol. Now, I鈥檓 moping more than ever.

I got up from the bed and put on my bunny slippers. This is going to be a long day. I raced down the stairs and opened the pantry. I got out some eggs, milk and flour. As soon as I poured them in a bowl, Dad came in.

鈥淒id you sleep well? I heard you tossing and turning all night.鈥?he said with a worried look on his face.

鈥淵eah, I鈥檓 fine,鈥?I said. 鈥渏ust a bad dream.鈥?

鈥淥h, okay. Well, can you make me a muffin too. I鈥檓 starving.鈥?he threw in there. He walked out of the room.

鈥淚鈥檓 making pancakes.鈥?I shouted back.

鈥淵eah, right. Okay.鈥?he replied. I suppose he just wanted something to eat.

鈥淐鈥檓on Maria, it鈥檚 not gonna be that bad! You鈥檒l have fun! Meet some new people, you need to have some fun. You鈥檝e been so鈥?.鈥?my Dad paused at that, 鈥渟o鈥︹€?mopey.鈥?br> 鈥淚鈥檝e not been mopey!鈥?I shouted. I think that I shouted a little too sharply.

鈥淕et in the car.鈥?he said. I had said it too sharply. My Dad and I were on our way to my new school. The first day of school. Maybe school would be sanctuary. Maybe Dad wouldn鈥檛 be around every corner offering me cookies and milk and comforting and those dreaded bear hugs. Maybe, just maybe I could find some real friends. Friends that weren鈥檛 in my immediate family or were from the animal race.

I reached for the radio button, but he touched the back of my hand, signaling that he wasn鈥檛 in the mood. Or I had made him too angry.

We drove past some trees and dusty buildings. My dad really did live in a dump. We passed so many shattered things. Imagine a ghost town and it was worse than that. One of the log cabins that we passed, we stopped at. It was really little. One door that was on the side and two or three windows on the back. I wondered why not in the front. Were they trying to keep the sunlight out?

I was awoken from my thought from a deep, husky voice.

鈥淲ell, hello! Long time no see! I鈥檝e been waiting to see you since you was a little young鈥檜n.鈥?it said.

The windows were so tinted that I had to roll down my window to get a look. I reached for the handle and twisted it downward. There stood an old man, he was much shorter than I was. In fact, he was probably shorter than a seven or an eight year old. Then I noticed why, he was in a wheelchair.

鈥淲hat鈥檚 this young鈥檜n鈥檚 name again Bill?鈥?he asked my Dad.

My dad smiled at me and then at the old man. 鈥淚t鈥檚 Maria Dad.鈥?

鈥淒ad?鈥?I asked my Father.

鈥淗oney, this is your Grandpapa Frank. You鈥檒l be spending time with him a bit.鈥?

I was so shocked that I didn鈥檛 even notice the young looking man that walked up.

鈥淭his is my little helper, Haiden.鈥?he smiled. 鈥淗e helps out a lot around here.鈥?

Haiden smiled and put his hand out. 鈥淚t鈥檚 nice to finally meet you, Maria.鈥?he said. I couldn鈥檛 understand why this boy was so peculiar. He spoke normal. He walked normal. He just didn鈥檛 look normal. He had dark eyes. Dark eyes. Almost black. Long, black hair put up in a ponytail. He was so big and muscular, you would think that he was an underwear model, instead of a help.

鈥淒o you like it around here so far?鈥?Grandpapa Frank said with a tone that made me think there was some reason we shouldn鈥檛 like it.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a lot different from Carol鈥檚 in Florida, but I鈥檒l have to get used to it.鈥?I said. 鈥淭hank you for letting me stay here.鈥?

He smiled in agreement. 鈥淚鈥檓 glad to have you,鈥?he winked in Haiden鈥檚 direction. 鈥渕aybe you could help Haiden out in the garage. He could use some assistance.鈥?He threw another glance at Haiden, who was standing innocently enough.

鈥淪he could help out if she wants, but if not, I don鈥檛 really need any. Thank you though.鈥?he replied reluctantly.

鈥淲ell,鈥?he said, 鈥淚 best be going. I have much more work to do.鈥?He looked straight at me then. Like he was trying to tell me something without physically speaking. 鈥淕ood day, Maria.鈥?He smiled as he walked off.

鈥淕ood day.鈥?I said again. I looked at the clock on the car. Seven fifty-two. 鈥淒ad,鈥?I said, now focusing on the more important things. 鈥淚鈥檓 going to be late!鈥?

鈥淥h, look at the time. I am so sorry Frank, I have to go now! I鈥檒l see you later. Maria will come by right after school! Won鈥檛 you Maria?鈥?Dad said looking at me while he raised his eyebrows. Telling me to say yes.

鈥淥f course I will. Right after school.鈥?I instantly regretted saying it.

We pulled away from the driveway and headed for school. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask Dad. Why was Frank in a wheelchair? Why did Haiden act so weird? But, I decided not to ask. I would always get the same answer I always got. 鈥楽ave em鈥?for the Beavers鈥? It was liable to come up sometime anyway.

We pulled up to it, a school that was supposed to be a school. But it really looked like an old, run down, fit for mice, factory. Or something of the sort.

I opened the door of the truck and walked on the cold uneven pavement-that was supposed to be a sidewalk-to first period. I heard some footsteps behind me. Oh no. I didn鈥檛 want Dad to follow me. He did anyway.

鈥淒ad, I don鈥檛 need you to walk in with me like I鈥檓 some kindergartener. I鈥檓 fine on my own.鈥?I said, while turned around completely the other way. Sure enough Dad wasn鈥檛 there. Whose steps did I hear. Everyone was already in first period. I ran to class.

I had hoped that I would meet some nice acquaintances and talk some friendly talks. I was wrong. You know how it鈥檚 the first day of school and all the teachers make you stand up in front of the class and give a brief description of, what you鈥檙e name is, what your favorite color is, blah, blah, blah. I hope I don鈥檛 have many teachers like that here. I am not so talented in front of people. I walked up to Mr. Barren鈥檚 class and sat down. Mr. Barren was plump. He had a mustache that grew down to his bottom chin and his desk looked like a raccoon had a party on it.

鈥淕ood morning Class.鈥?he boomed.

Silence.

鈥淚 said, Good morning Class.鈥?he boomed again, repeating his words.

鈥淕ood Morning Mr. Barren.鈥?said a group of obviously not amused kids. I don鈥檛 think they wanted to be here as much as I didn鈥檛.

鈥淪tudents, I am going to go down row by row and you tell me and the class your name. Ready,鈥?

Oh no. I can鈥檛 do this. This is going to be horrible.

鈥淢y name is Grace Richardson.鈥?said the girl in front of me. 鈥淗ello everyone.鈥?br> Why couldn鈥檛 I be like her?

Mr. Barren focused his eyes on me. 鈥淵es, go ahead.鈥?he said.

I stood up and got to my feet. I could feel that horrible nauseated pain in the pit of my stomach.

鈥淗-he-hello. M-my n-name is,鈥?I looked up at the twenty-five kids staring at me with un-amused faces. 鈥渕-my n-name is..鈥?

鈥淕o ahead,鈥?Mr. Barren told me again, getting agitated. 鈥渨e all want to hear.鈥?

I had the feeling in my stomach again. I felt like I was going to cough. My head spun and everything went swirling. Then, everything went black.

I listened to a high pitched, crackly voice coming just a few feet away from me.

鈥淚 think that she had quite a mess out there.鈥?the voice said. 鈥淗er blood pressure is up high. I don鈥檛 think she needs to stay in school for the rest of the day. She needs her rest.鈥?br> I was wondering who she was talking to.

鈥淚鈥檒l take her home.鈥?said a beautiful tone. I thought that it couldn鈥檛 even begin to be a voice of a human. It was just too graceful. The voice was like the ocean, like the heaven鈥檚 angels. I already loved the voice-even though I had no idea whose it actually belonged to. Someone picked me up with one arm, put me over their shoulder and carried me out the door. Before I knew it, I was at my truck. But, how did they know it was my car?

I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful figure that I ever thought was possible. He had black hair, short cut and shimmering in the sunlight. But, when I looked at him, it wasn鈥檛 just his hair shimmering, but his whole body was shimmering in the light. Beautiful eyes, no wait beautiful doesn鈥檛 even begin to cover it. Picturesque eyes. Gorgeous little things. I saw all of this while in his arms. Remember that I don鈥檛 even know this beautiful little devil鈥檚 name.

鈥淚s this your car?鈥?he said. I was so drowned in his beauty, he had to say it again, before I could hear him. My ears weren鈥檛 in command with my eyes.

鈥淚 said, is this your car?鈥?he said again with a smile on his face. He was probably used to all this attention, he seemed to be enjoying it.

鈥淵es.鈥?I managed to get out of my almost stunned mouth.

鈥淎re you okay.鈥?he turned the corners of his mouth into a smile. (by the way, gorgeous smile)

Here we go again with the-having to say it twice before I noticed that his dazzling mouth said anything with that heaven鈥檚 angels voice-thing.

鈥淚 think so. How did you know that this was my car?鈥?I asked, puzzled still.

He didn鈥檛 answer. I didn鈥檛 expect him to.

Here I was, in my car, with a total and complete stranger driving me to my house. Who is also driving me home. I鈥檓 going to have to tell him where I live in a few minutes. Or will he just magically know that also.

鈥淚 haven鈥檛 seen you around here before, Maria. Are you knew?鈥?the stranger asked.

He looked at me long and hard. The way Haiden had. It frightened me. It was like they were trying to bear deep into my soul. Like they were trying to get answers to a question that I had no idea what the solution was, but if they looked long enough, they would find out.

鈥淗ello.鈥?he said while waving his hand back and forth in front of my face. 鈥淎re you going to pass out again?鈥?br> He knocked me back into consciousness. 鈥淗ow do you know my name?鈥?I asked. He knew that too.

鈥淥h,鈥?he said. He paused and got that same look on his face. This scared me also, for he was driving. Another thing that almost made me pass out was the speed at which he was driving at. I could see nothing but a blur of green and brown. Just like the little fiasco this morning.

鈥淵es, how do you know me?鈥?I said again. Getting agitated at him.

I wrote a story Earlier and all of you loved it! So, here's some more! Do you like the revised version better?

ooh, I like. What happens next? Who is that guy? Does she make friends with anybody? Please post more!!!

I wrote a story Earlier and all of you loved it! So, here's some more! Do you like the revised version better?

good writing......

I wrote a story Earlier and all of you loved it! So, here's some more! Do you like the revised version better?

Um, it sounds like an knock off copy of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Like you just changed names and descriptions, the way she meets people, and how it starts. But like the whole things sounds like Twilight almost! But I like your writing style and your very good and it makes me want to read more, but it still sounds like Twilight!

It's not just little things that are like Twilight, there HUGE things. Like the speed he's driving, sparkling(or how ever you worded it), gorgeous smile! Knowing her name, even though she didn't tell him! Theres a lot more. You really should change it because no one wants to read an un original piece of writing, especially from a very, very liked book!

I wrote a story Earlier and all of you loved it! So, here's some more! Do you like the revised version better?

This isn't some writing website. Stop posting your stuff here. Don't you know how many people come looking for short stories to use as their homework for English instead of writing it themselves? And nobody wants to read a story on Yahoo. I mean, come on.

Post it on fictionpress.com, instead. It's free, writer-friendly, and you get reviews for each chapter/story. Enjoy.